Apple and Orange - Episode 10

Apple and Orange by vino4d - Episode 10

Some restless nights, I questioned myself "why am I living?" . I also questioned similarly the same Questions—why i was born, why we created, why the earth was like this — at childhood. Children always seek knowledge so when im child I did so, that was the hunger of knowledge. But it was the frustration. Because of not being loved, not being successful, not being needed. 

"Why i have to live?" I thought.

By following,

"Who's care about me?" 

"Who will really missing me if I die?"

"Who will really cry when Im die"

Thought bubbled on my mind.

I guessing and took a head count of people who really missing me and heartfully crying at my funeral. Sadly the count was not exceeded my middle finger.

As like that, one night… the house was dark without any zero waltz light lamp.

My grandma slept on her separate cot at living hall. My parents and sister slept on the floor and i was lying on the bed in the bedroom.

I stared the darkness for light. I covered my face with pillow, pushed that against face by arms. 

"There is no need to be loved, be needed or be succeeded" my brain said and stopping me for saving himself.

I am not convinced and pressing hard the pillow. My heart rate peaked. My lungs need oxygen. My breathing became vising. 

"Why are you dying?" My brain asked while i struggling to breathe.

''Yes", I stopped, "why am I dying?" I was thinking for a minute.

"Because no ones really love me" i answered my own question in mind.

" You really loved anyone" My brain asked.

"Yes, i loved some people. I really loved. But they didn't love me back."

"Why?" My brain said.

I was rushed by many thoughts and finally answered, "Maybe they didn't understanding me"

"As like you love someone, someone loves you and you are not understood them."

I was putting the pillow beneath the neck,

 resting the head and quiet for a moment.

"Now who are love you?" My brain questioned

"I don't know. But.. " i replied as turned my torso towards the turtle's tank and paused.

I stared my turtles sleep in their tank next to me. They're calm and not worried about anything even though they are not at their capitative. They just sleeping peacefully in present. The tank water lost his transparency and became dirty. I swifted turtles into fresh water(nah.. its just fresher than tank water) of another small bowl.

"I have to clean the tank tomorrow" i thought and fell asleep as seeing turtles peaceful sleep.

***

"Where's the another turtle?" 

"Hy.. one was gone!" My mother waking me up.

"One was gone!" The voice echoing into my head.

I bounced up on cot, glanced the bowel—it next to my pillow. Orange was staring me and apple—where is apple?. Mostly she hidden under the basking platform. But now—not there. I checked my blanket, jumped from cot, placed the feet carefully on floor, tiptoed and searched all over the room—under the cot, under dressing table, under the wardrobe, everywhere. 

"Where is it" I hollered to my mom.

"I don't know. I just seen one in the tank"

I found something between wardrobe and wall. There was a fire ants railed out from darkness. The fear ignited in me.

No.

I scared to see whats in there. I lid a torch. 

"God…No…" my heart raced.

A cream biscuits packet cover was there and behind that. I seen her. I took out her. Her shell.. Apple's shell—its punctured.

I was speechless.

My bad. I must been transferred the turtles into its tray from small bowl. If I did that, it mightn't happen.

By looking her, i understood that someone sucked out the heart and organs. My mother and sister looked Apple died in my hands.

"Is it died!!" Both exclaimed.

"Yes" i pretenting my tone as casual.

"Oh.. God!.. Don't buy these pet things" my mom moved out.

My sister saw a water droplet fell from my face. So, she also left from the room. I closed  the room doors then locked. And watched the dead body of my apple. To me, It was hurt, It was painful. I felt how torchal she had before died. It was feel like some psyhco killers butchered my daughter. Tears flooded as like every human being who lost their loved ones. I cried—in locked room. (As like tuned men in civilized society, i thought crying was weakness, a ladies thing and not a  men spec. Even I will fart in present of my family but afraid or shy of crying among them. How my mind ruined by f***ing stereotype ). Memories of apple crossing my mind, that increased the rate of tear flood.

 

After an hour, I opened the door, walked out and getting some small wood ,wooden plywood, cutting tools, hammer and nails. 

"Why he taking these stuffs?" My grandma looked my walking as turning her head as rotating table fan.

 

 In several minutes, i made small wooden coffin for apple, Sealed the apple and put the small coffin under the cot. 

My whole family looked me wierd. Yep, it was strange. They told me to don't keep the deads here. But I am not obeyed. They even may thought I was some psyhco or had any mental disorder patient. Maybe they are right. Am not sure untill i checked with pshycosist.

Ha!. 

I didn't want to throw her away in ditches or burried on somewhere.   I wanted to keep her

 close with me. So…

That day I was so lost myself. I don't why I love this tiny greeny peanut head creature. Why i choose them to pet. For feasting to some rats?. F**k.

***

It was night of the day when i sealed the apple. My mind was stressed as hell. I choosed to walk. While walking, I phoned well wisher—my friend, and talking about apple's death.

"So, are you cried like kiddo?" He punned.

First i lied I'm not. He stressed the question with more pun. Then I said, " a little bit".

"Haha.. i imagine how you cried" he laughed more than a minute at phone.

"Okay okay. Just stop man." I said with little laugh.

"Ha! I also pet a dog when I was 15". He continued, "With love and care. One day a car hit my dog. Then it died. I cried for a week. I carved both my pet's and my name in a tree near my home."

"Oh" 

"Its all happened everytime and everywhere" he said in same pun tone.

Yes, its all happened everytime and everywhere. I convinced my wounded mind. Now, my legs getting pained more than my mind. I circled twelve kilometres plus with my slippered foot. I need recover my body and mind. So. I ate and slept when I reached home.

***

to be continue...